A poem

Here is a poem I wrote a few years ago. It's dedicated to Aldo Leopold, author of "A Sand County Almanac".

I love and listen and learn from the animals
Their cunning and stealth defy morality
In matters of death they show no partiality
Their lives are imbued with a wild vitality

Once I thought God lived in the sky
Now I know he's a behemoth who swims in the sea
He tastes like the honey cured by a bee
He looks like a turtle that's seen eternity

God is an elephant who weeps for the Earth
He's the wild goose soaring some six miles high
You can hear his voice in the loon's lonely cry
And the more you listen, the less you die

Sometimes I'd like to be so free
No future, no past, just this present moment
To live by the law of genetic endowment
To live without shame or need for atonement

But I am just a mortal woman
One part spirit and equally human
And though I hear the Earth cry and my soul is bleeding
I know we can never return to Eden

End of summer

Well, I guess it's time to update my blog. I attended the writer's conference in June and it was very eye-opening. I received positive feedback on my writing and learned that St. Louis has a vibrant writing community. Next on my list: visit Left Bank Books in the Central West End. I want to get a copy of the book "Sisterland". I submitted a work of flash fiction to a literary magazine but haven't heard back yet.
     I'm still waiting on a settlement for my accident. I've been behind on my bills ever since the accident and it feels like I'll never catch up.  Work has been stressful, as usual. Maybe with the merger, things will improve. I can hope.
     I check on my parents almost every day. Dad seems happy,even if he asks the same question ten times.  Mom gets stressed from dealing with him all day. She's afraid to leave him alone for too long.
     Jaxon is always happy and wants me to be happy too. I'm going to try to download a picture of him--hope this works....

Natural beauty

I want to share two "recipes" for natural beauty products that I've made recently. The first comes from "Herb Quarterly" and is a facial mask. Using a coffee grinder on the expresso setting, grind enough coffee beans to make a quarter cup of powdery beans (they have to be finely ground or the recipe won't work). Add one-fourth cup powdered cocoa and one-half cup whole milk. Stir together till it forms a creamy paste. Apply to face and leave on for fifteen minutes, then rinse off. This leaves my skin feeling toned and soothed at the same time.
     The other recipe comes from a fashion blog I follow. It's for a dry shampoo and works well when your hair is oily but you don't want to wash it everyday cause it's too drying. Take a half-cup of cornstarch, one tablespoon of baking soda, one tablespoon cocoa powder and one teaspoon of cinnamon. Mix together well and put in a shaker jar (I used a vintage sugar shaker). Apply to dry hair and use a large make-up brush to distribute throughout hair. This keeps your hair looking good and smelling good.
     I finally got the book "Wildly Affordable Organic" and am preparing to change the way I buy and cook food. My garden is doing well at present, peas,beans, and tomatoes are doing well. Still waiting to transplant peppers and eggplants. My herb garden is in the front yard and so far I have sage, rosemary, cilantro, and I just planted basil and fenugreek today.  I have basil and parsley indoors.  Everything is coming up green.

Feels like summer

Well, today the temperature officially reached 90 degrees so it feels like a taste of summer to come. It feels so good to be able to BREATHE normally again--I had pneumonia back in March and with the crappy weather we had--first hot, then cold, then colder--it took quite a while to recover.  My yard finally looks decent. Since I never was able to find a battery (and didn't want to pay $150.00 for one) I decided to let go of my electric mower. It didn't work well on my yard anyway--the grass is so thick in spots that it put an incredible strain on the battery.  I hired a guy to mow the yard and I bought a trimmer (really nice, I like it) so hopefully we can keep the yard looking OK. I say OK cause it'll never look good--due to flocks of starlings roosting in my oak tree, the backyard is half grass and half who-knows what. Those darn birds pooped everywhere and deposited all kinds of unwanted seeds.  The trimmer is lightweight and uses a lithium battery. I actually enjoy using it. My old one had a cord and was heavy and unwieldy.
     I'm planning to attend a writer's conference in June.   Haven't felt much like writing this past winter, now that I've recovered from being ill and the weather is good, maybe it'll put me in the mood to write. I have done a lot of reading over the winter--mostly organic living magazines and some good non-fiction books.  The last fiction book I read was "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle".  I liked it but it took a little too long to get started.  I'm sort of a minimalist writer--I like to keep the reader's interest so I don't elaborate on things and try to keep the story moving along. My favorite movies have always been action-adventure movies and my fiction reflects it. 
     Spring is here and the Earth breathes a sigh of relief.

Wandering but not lost

It's been a long time since I've updated my blog--Boxer passed on back in November of 2012 and his last months were hard for me. It's hard to watch the animal you've loved for fourteen years deteriorate in body and mind. I do believe he had some form of dementia towards the end. I have a new dog, Jaxon, whom I rescued in April of last year. He's a Plotthound-German shepherd mix (I think). He's such a sweet, happy dog. He loves everyone, rarely barks, and has become quite the couch potato. 
     I was involved in an auto accident (no fault of mine) at the beginning of January when a guy rear-ended me driving a Ford F-150. My car was totaled. I recently got a 2004 Grand Am and it's a good car. I was very stressed out for the first two months of this year; last night was the first time I'd driven in heavy (interstate) traffic since the accident. It went pretty smoothly so I must be back to "normal" whatever that is.
      I've lost about 14 pounds since last August and I've been working out at Nautilus so I can lose more and shape up. I feel stronger since I've been working out and I don't have near as much pain in my shoulders.
     I wonder where my life is headed. I've reached that age where I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do and nobody is going to stop me. I've spent way too much of my life being what other people thought I should be--trouble is, it wasn't me. Over the last few years, I've noticed that people have developed strong opinions about me--they either love me or hate me, but I'm not :"invisible" like I was in the past. I'm starting to realize that I have a mysterious soul, and that scares some people.   There's no need to be afraid--I'm just more spiritually inclined than a lot of people.
     Now that my life has recovered from losing Boxer, I'll try to write more often.

My poor garden

Well, I haven't written anything about my gardening efforts this year because I have no garden to speak of. Extremely high temperatures, combined with severe drought = no garden. My blackberry brambles are doing OK due to a soaker hose. Very few blackberries, but this was its first year so I didn't expect much. This weather has been awful. Climate change has come to the United States. I was doing some activities with llamas and alpacas but I gave it a break cause it's been so hot. Very stressful for the animals. Boxer is really showing signs of age, has some neurological issues with his back legs, weakness and loss of sensation. He still wants to go for walks, but I keep them short and slow. My oak tree will probably have to come down, a huge branch fell from it and smashed the fence. The branch showed signs of rotting within that can't be seen from the outside. I'm worried a storm may blow the tree over onto the house. So I've been feeling pretty stressed out, keep forgetting things and very distracted a lot of the time. I hope you're doing well in your neck of the woods. Pray for rain.

Globe lamp

Here is my lamp made from a vintage globe--an idea I got from my favorite magazine, MaryJane's Farm. I got the globe for one dollar at a yard sale; the lamp was seven dollars and the trim was a yard for two dollars. So the total cost of my lamp was ten dollars--not bad at all. It now graces my living room.

This is winter?

It doesn't feel like January today--I took Boxer for a walk and actually felt a little warm by the time we were done. The other day it was freezing. Weird weather. Makes me wonder what the spring will bring. I've already planned what seeds to order--I'm not going to try growing so many different things this year--just going to grow those things I know will do well. I've been doing yoga almost every day now for the past few weeks and feel a lot better. I helped count eagles a few weeks ago and we counted 42. Not bad, but we probably would have seen a lot more had it been colder. We saw a great blue heron catch a fish--he just plunged his bill into the water and came up with a fish. They are beautiful birds. I hope we don't have a too-wet spring like last year. I'm looking forward to harvesting some blackberries.

Whew!!! It's been a long time since I last checked in. I was very sick with asthma/bronchitis a while back and just wasn't feeling very well for several months. But now I'm back up to speed. My garden didn't do very well this year due to an excessively wet spring and a hot, dry summer. I'm almost finished painting my living room and I need to get started on Christmas gifts. I got a new computer (a storm killed the Apple computer that my brother gave me after my original bit the dust). Boxer turned thirteen in May and Koko is eighteen. I don't even want to think about my birthday in January. I don't even want to think about winter--that means snow! I like the snow, but I'm in no hurry for it. Today was a mild day, rather windy, and I saw a sundog this evening so I know the weather is going to change. I hope you're having good weather, wherever you are.

Back in the Saddle

OK, it's been a while since you've heard from me--I was hibernating over the winter, is my only explanation. But now spring is just around the corner and I'm thinking seeds, building a new garden bed, raising blackberries--the dreams we urban homesteaders have. I also want to plant more purple coneflowers, since they're both native and beautiful, and provide food for the goldfinches in late summer. I bought some lumber to build a raised bed in my front yard, where the old maple once stood. It gets lots of sunlight and some of the veggies, such as peppers, that didn't do so well last year in my back yard, should do well there. Things are going along quite well in my life, after a very sad winter, which saw the tragic loss of a friend. Boxer will turn thirteen this May, and is doing well, after being bitten by a pit bull at the park where I sometimes walk him. I have nothing against pit bulls, but they need to be socialized when they're young and you can still control them. This dog was on a leash and his owner couldn't control him. It was also only the dog's second time being out in the public, and the dog was two years old. Stupid owner.
I hope all your plans for spring and a beautiful garden come true this year.

End of season

I harvested the last of my lettuce and spinach yesterday and had a salad last night with a few cherry tomatoes and homemade dressing. Now to get the beds ready for winter. I'm already planning for next year (more sugar snap peas) and have received one seed catalog so far. Now I need to work on making Christmas presents. I'm already starting to get stressed out by the holidays so doing some embroidery will help slow me down. And I'll do some cooking, which will make the house smell good, which will also calm me down. I always seem to get depressed around Thanksgiving, not sure why. Maybe it's the long dark evenings, or the gray and overcast days that seem to be more prevalent this time of year. Such a contrast to the greenery of summer or even the brightness of October. Will post some pictures soon as I get some new batteries for my camera.

Forever Autumn

Sorry I haven't posted on here in so long--I tore the cartilage in my knee back in August and have been off work since then--had surgery on Sept. 7th. but for some reason, the insurance hasn't approved my physical therapy--so my knee is still sore but I can walk OK, just can't walk very fast or too far. Such is life.
Today is the first day of Autumn and a full moon as well. This has always been my favorite time of year. When the first frost comes and the leaves are falling from the trees, there is a feeling of sadness yet expectancy in the air. I'm still getting cherry tomatoes from my garden and I'm waiting for the peppers to turn red. I planted some fall lettuce and spinach; hopefully it'll do better than it did last spring.
As I've become more eco-conscious I find myself doing things differently than I used to. I've been using baking soda, followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse, on my hair and it leaves my hair soft and shiny. I've been buying more clothes from resale shops and eating less meat (especially since I'm not eating at work). I wash all my clothes and linens in cold water--would hang them out to dry but I have so many trees in my yard that the birds would probably mess them up. I've been trying to shop at the farmer's market on Saturdays but there are still times when I get tired of eating at home so I eat out. It gets kind of boring cooking for one (not counting the cooking I do for Boxer).
I hope I can return to work soon. It's been nice to be off, but enough is enough. I hope you have a wonderful autumn, full of pumpkins and apples and hikes through the woods. 'Tis truly the golden season.

One Heliva Sight

I saw something today that I've never seen before--a truck pulling a flatbed trailer upon which rested a helicopter. And not just any helicopter--this one was painted aqua blue and was a fairly good size. Who was hauling it? Where were they taking it? I don't know but I wish I'd had a camera with me so I could have taken a picture.
In other news, this summer has been very HOT so far. I'm not a hot weather person, in fact, hot weather brings me down. It's been great for my garden though--I'm now starting to find ripe cherry tomatoes when I get home from work. The Brandywine, an heirloom variety, will make its appearance later on. (Hopefully, that is). My tomatoes are late because I started them from seed in the ground. But they're doing great. Even my pepper and kohlrabi plants have recovered and I may get something from them (keeping my fingers crossed). I was going to plant winter squash but decided not to, not sure if I'd have enough room for them. I'm going to plant more lettuce and spinach when it gets cooler since these veggies like the cool weather. I'm thinking of putting a raised bed in the front yard where the maple once stood, using ornamental edibles. Anyone for Bright Lights swiss chard?

Little green things

No, I'm not talking about Martians--I'm referring to the little green things popping up all over my garden. The sugar snap peas are delicious; next year I'll know to plant more. My tomatoes seem to be doing well. The cabbage--well, we tried. Same with the lettuce and the spinach. I might be able to get one or two salads out of my garden, but we'll have to wait and see. the kohlrabi, fennel, and carrots are still too early to tell. The peppers---don't ask. But it sure has been interesting watching things grow and what didn't grow so well. I wanted to start off small and I think I chose a decent location; next year I'm already planning where to put another bed.
I suffered a minor set back recently when I went to the ER and was admitted with a case of pneumonia. I spent a couple days in the hospital hooked up to an IV. I lost some weight but now have been eating like I'm famished; I guess in a way I was. My potassium levels were low so I've been trying to eat foods high in potassium to make up for it.
So that's what's been happening in my world. I hope the month of June is good to you.

Ponderings

This is a difficult time of year for me. It's been almost one year since my friend Lorenzo died. I know he's in a better place but why did he have to be taken so suddenly and violently? Why do things that start out good often end in heartbreak? It's never easy to lose a friend but why does God give us good friends, only to take them away? Or is God even to blame? Sometimes the Universe puzzles me; sometimes it seems like the sadness out-weighs the good in life. Sometimes we lose a friend, not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes the people we thought were our friends turn out to be untrustworthy and back-stabbing. Lorenzo saw value in suffering; he believed that our suffering had a healing effect on all the suffering in the world. I wonder. Sometimes, when I can't see fit to thank God for what life has given me, I instead thank God for the good things still to come. I think Lorenzo would approve of my view. Hindsight isn't always 20/20. Sometimes when you look back, all you see is a big mess. So don't spend so much time looking back--forward is where your life is.

Last Child in the grass

Can you tell I've been reading the book "Last Child in the Woods"? It's an eye-opening account of how children today are being deprived of contact with the natural world, due to lack of wild areas, parental fears, technology overload, etc. I was walking Boxer this evening and came across three girls who wanted to pet him. Later, I walked past a house in foreclosure, where the yard hasn't been mowed in quite a while, and the three girls were laying in the tall grass, "hiding" and giggling. It felt good to see kids enjoying this small piece of nature. Kids have a natural affinity for the wild places, wherever they may be found. Sometimes it's an unmowed yard.

Seeds of Love

I was finally able to start planting some crops in my garden today. I planted sugar snap peas, lettuce, and spinach. I put my cabbage seedlings outside to acclimate them to the outdoors and it got so hot they nearly wilted. I brought them back inside, gave them lots of water, and hope they'll recover. If not, I have more seeds. I also plan to plant peppers, cherry tomatoes, basil, fennel, kohlrabi, carrots and winter squash. I started working on the frame for the other raised bed and I tilled the soil in that bed. I should have enough compost left to add to the other bed. I also cleaned up some of the pile of dead branches in Boxer's pen. I bought a bag of dirt to help fill in the hole left by the honey locust tree that was cut down years ago. The stump has rotted and left a hole where the tree once stood. I used all of a forty pound bag but I'm going to need more. Oh well, dirt is cheap. I took Boxer for a walk at the park and saw a bluebird and a pileated woodpecker. It was just a beautiful day. And it smells like blossoms everywhere. I hope you're enjoying your spring, wherever you are. "One is closer to God in a garden than anywhere else on Earth".

The hosta is starting to emerge from its winter sleep and I have cabbage and pepper seedlings in my living room. I've dug out four weed-type bushes from the soft soil. The ground in my garden beds is still too wet to work with. I saw my first dandelion of the season the other day (in my yard!) and the first bee. My compost is looking rich. Yes, spring is here and I'm glad! I've almost forgotten how profuse the trees are in June--but I'm starting to remember. Starting to recall the scent of apple blossoms, the blue sky scattered with puffy white clouds, the feel of the warm sun on my back--now, if it would just stop raining every few days, it would be perfect.
I spent two hours Sunday picking up trash along the River Road and now my knee is paying the price. I must be getting old--I have arthritis in my right knee along with softening of the cartilage. The physical therapy I've been receiving has helped. Just should have known better than to scramble down a rock-strewn bank along Piasa Creek.
Can't wait till it's warm enough to go camping. I want to take Boxer with me and do some hiking.
I hope you're enjoying your spring so far.

A little "bit" of horseplay

This is a little something I made from a bit I found at an antique store. I embroidered a stallion and a foal, glued the muslin to some round plastic discs (the kind used in some cross-stitching projects), then took some leather lacing and fastened the discs to the bit.
I also went up to my attic and rescued my hand-made (by a man in Iowa) Amish buggy and harness for model horses and displayed it on my Amish-made console table. I guess I've never really gotten over my love for horses that I had when I was young. Oh well, who would want to?

February Blahs

February is not my favorite month. By this time, I'm ready for spring. But no---it warms up for a day or two and then the temps. drop down into the teens. I wish this month would make up its mind. The ground was frozen, then thawed, then it rained, then it froze again---it was hazardous just walking through my backyard. I pruned my butterfly bush yesterday and made some soap (actually, I took castile soap and added lavender water and ground oats to it) and I made some hand lotion that smells heavenly (it turned out a little waxy but it was my first attempt--plenty of time to get it right). I've given up meat for Lent and I already feel better. I just wish that spring would get here. Oh, and I heard a mourning dove cooing on Saturday so I know that spring is just around the corner. Hope you're having a nice February.