Books of the year

Here is my list of favorite books that I read (or finished reading) this year:

1) A Sand County Almanac by Aldo Leopold

2) Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

3) Celtic Benediction by J. Philip Newell

4) Eating Mindfully by Susan Albers

5) Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh

There are others I also enjoyed reading, but these had the most impact on me.

Christmas thoughts

OK, I admit--I enjoy listening to some of the Christmas songs that are played 24/7 in the weeks before Christmas. I always enjoy the classic version of "The Little Drummer Boy" and the instrumental version of LeRoy Anderson's "Sleigh Ride" (which may have a lot to do with memories of high school band). There are other songs that I'd just as soon never hear again-- "The Christmas Shoes", the Hippopotamus song, and thankfully, I never once heard "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" this Christmas season. My favorites, though, are the traditional carols, particularly those reflecting the spiritual essence of Christmas. I didn't go to Church this year to celebrate the birth of Christ, as I've come to find most Christmas services to be dry and lifeless. I wonder sometimes if anyone really comprehends what the birth of Jesus was like. It was a desperate situation--no room at the inn, taking shelter in a cave/stable, and Mary and Joseph wondering what on Earth God was up to. I, too, wonder sometimes what on Earth God is up to, when I look at my life and the way it's been up to this point. I know God is working in my life, but I don't understand His plans. I know He's working because I received the gift of healing several months ago at a Catholic healing service. My arm had been sore, numb and tingling, for several weeks. Some people prayed over me at this service, and by the time I left, my arm felt normal again. And it's been fine ever since. I don't feel disappointed in God, but I'm very weary of listening to leaders of the Catholic Church make decisions about things based on fear and an inability to see any viewpoint but their own. There has to be a better way out there, but I haven't found it yet. I'm finding a lot of inspiration in exploring a Celtic understanding of Christianity. But I have yet to meet anyone following a similar path so for now, I'll go it alone. In the meantime, I hope you had a blessed Christmas and may the angels be with you always.

Christmas scenes

Just a few pics of my Christmas decorations and a very bored boxer. enjoy!

Why didn't I try this sooner?

Sometimes a little thing can make all the difference in the world. For more than a year, I've been having trouble with pain in my feet, brought on by (I believe) a cheap pair of shoes and a lot of walking on the job. the soles of my feet became inflamed, and if you've never experienced it, it hurts. Like tiny arrows digging into your feet all day long. I bought new shoes, got some Dr. Scholl inserts, and even took a narcotic-strength pain reliever, but the pain persisted in my left heel. Finally I tried something simple: I took any anti-inflamatory medicine and WooHoo! For the first time in over a year, I can walk without pain in my feet! It's amazing how much this one little change has improved my mood. I feel like ME again. I've been so down on myself over the past year, never making the connection between how I felt emotionally and the physical pain that I felt. Heck, I'm ready to take up jogging I feel so much better.
OK, you get the picture. sometimes when just one little thing is out of whack, it throws off everything else. Take care of the tiny little detail and watch everything else fall neatly into place. Have you ever experienced this type of situation? I had a great day, hope yours was great too.

Now I am a...

Master Naturalist intern. Yes, I did it--I officially "graduated" yesterday and now need to work on a project to meet the volunteer requirement. We learned so much since the beginning of September. We could easily have spent weeks on each chapter. Really, we only scratched the surface of what makes up the flora and fauna (and a few other categories) of this state of Illinois. I never knew that karsts could be so fascinating or that hill prairies are so endangered. I'll never look at an insect the same way again. I'm thinking that I'd like to do a project dealing with the urban environment. Do you think the neighbors would mind if I turned my yard into a prairie? I've also been asked to run for a position on the executive committee of our Sierra Club chapter, but I'm hesitant to bite off more than I can chew. Oh well, the holidays are fast approaching so I'm going to put everything on the back burner till January. I've worked hard to earn that title; now i need to rest a little. I have all the materials to build two raised bed garden plots so I'll probably work on that this weekend. Then I need to order some seed catalogs. I also want to extend my little prairie garden next spring so I need to think about that. Aw, November--the beginning of next year's plans and aspirations. Maybe that's what winter is for--to dream of spring. Happy dreaming.

The true meaning of FOOD

I'm almost done reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle; I started reading it a couple of years ago and then set it down for a long while after a life-altering experience with a CSA. However, since I'm planning my own garden for next year, I felt the time had come to finish reading it. In the past year, I've learned to make my own bread (and since the recipe makes two loaves, I always share one with a neighbor). I've discovered that I'm not a bad chef and that it's OK sometimes to make substitutions for ingredients that I don't have on hand. The food that I create tastes better than commercially prepared food and I eat less of it as a result. (when you really taste the food you eat, you naturally eat less). I still have some bad food habits but at least I'm aware of them.
Besides making bread, I've made crackers, pumpkin fritters, cherry fruit roll-ups, and even gourmet treats for Boxer. It's fun and it's nourishing for both body and soul. I think back to 1984 when I became anorectic and how I saw food as the enemy; actually, I was my own worst enemy and still am in many ways. But today I enjoy a healthy relationship with food that's based on respect and understanding that food is meant to be a celebration and is nothing to fear. Believe me, being afraid to eat wreaks havoc with your self-esteem. By really understanding where my food comes from and its true purpose in life, I'm more and more able to pass up junky food when temptation strikes.
People may think I'm strange because I don't care much for eating out (do you really know what goes on in the kitchen of a chain restaurant?) but if making my own bread is strange, I'll gladly take it. As far as I'm concerned, it's the true American way. So throw away the pre-packaged meals and join the slow food movement--viva la vida!

Just a few thoughts on faith...

I hear so many Christians saying that they believe in the Bible. But I wonder, sometimes, just what does that mean? Does that mean you have the right to try and change someone's sexual orientation because you think that's God's will? Actually, the word "homosexual" doesn't even appear in the original scripture because it wasn't created till late in the nineteenth century. Likewise with the word "witch". It doesn't appear in the original Biblical writings. Besides, words are just labels and I don't like labels. One could do worse than be a "witch".
That said, I do believe that the Bible is the Word of God. It's one of the ways that God speaks to us. But it's not the only way. And it doesn't contain all there is to know about God or even about life. God is too vast and too real, too omnipresent and too untamed, to be confined to the words of a book. (Or rather, a collection of books). All the writers of the Bible reveal some truth about God, but reading the Bible is only the start. Or at least, it should be. For many people, it's the end as well. They read the Bible and never ask another question about God, about life, about the universe---see, it's all there, in the Bible? Sorry, I just can't buy it.
Once I had read the Bible, I started asking questions and have never stopped. I've learned that God usually takes His time to answer our most pressing questions--but He does answer them. I think God likes it when we ask Him questions--how else are we supposed to learn? My most sincere prayer often takes the form of a question: why did so and so betray me? why did I become ill? where were You when....the list could go on and on.
I guess what I'm getting at is God's ways aren't our ways. Here on Earth, we have schedules that we must stick to, things to do, places to be. God is timeless; all that will ever be has been done; God is always present. He's quite simply unfathomable. And can never be tamed. (C.S. Lewis knew this well). I think too many Christians want a tame God, one that fits neatly in their Bible when they close it for the night. Me, I want a wild, unchangeable, incomprehensible God who surprises me at every turn with His generosity and love. I think that kind of God scares a lot of people. Oh well, they have their Bibles and images of a sweet, Caucasian, smooth-complected Jesus who only got angry once, when He overturned the tables in the temple. If that placates them, fine. I'll take the Jesus who was sun-burned, dusty, tired, and once referred to a woman as a "dog" because she wanted healing and wasn't a Jew. A complex man, that Jesus. Just like the Bible. Just like the universe. Just like faith.
Peace.

Pick a little, talk a little......

I think gossip is one of the most insidious, and disregarded, sins that the Good Book warns against. We can all tell stories of the friend/co-worker/neighbor who started rumors about us and what it led to. I think of the musical "The Music Man" and how the ladies of the town, like hens in a barnyard, gossiped about Marian the librarian---"Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep, cheep, cheep, pick a lot, talk a little more..." though amusing in that particular production, there's nothing amusing about gossip in real life. I absolutely deplore the Hollywood tabloids and the way they vivisect the subjects who make the publishers rich. When Brittney was having a mental breakdown, all I could see was: this young woman, who has entertained millions, has a mental illness and people are ridiculing her for it. And of course, some were making money from it. It's at times like these when I almost wish I lived among the Amish (whom I'm sure talk about their neighbors, but nothing like the media tabloids). I'm really not interested in other people's personal lives; I'd much rather hear some positive news about a neighbor/co-worker/celebrity than hear people talk trash. I try to close my ears to such trash talk, but often feel I'm in the minority--"pick a little, talk a little, cheep!!"

Roads

I drove to Waterloo today for my Master Naturalist class. Arriving early, I stopped by to visit my Aunt Doris and Uncle Larry. They were surprised and happy to see me; it's been so long since I've seen them that I can't recall the last time. We chatted about what was happening in Alton (I have to confess, Doris seemed more up-to-date on some things than I was) and one of their cats decided to visit me too. It was a beautiful autumn day and yes, Larry is still feeding his critters. All too soon, I had to leave to attend my class, which was an interesting presentation on forests/woodlands.
After the class was over, one of the participants invited us all to view his gardens and yard in Columbia. He had a beautifully landscaped yard which was dominated by miniature train tracks and trains. Watching the trains, I was struck by the way they went round and round the same route time after time. Sometimes it seems life is like that as well--like we're just going round and round and getting nowhere. When this feeling comes over me, I know it's time to lay down some new tracks--try new things and pursue new interests. Maybe that's what compelled me to take this Master Naturalist class in the first place--to follow the road less traveled, not knowing where it will lead me, but certainly worthwhile. Though the destination is unclear, I know I'm going in the right direction--I refuse to be like a model train that's always going somewhere, but getting nowhere. Like the poet says "I took the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference". Peace.

What do you think?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough. Yes, I recycle, I compost, I've cut way back on eating meat, I stay up to date on important environmental issues. I know there are lots of other people like me, but sometimes it feels like time is running out. There's only so much this Earth can take--and we humans have taken just about everything. It angers me that people are talking about building casinos on wetlands, even as the floods get worse year after year because we've built so many levees and dams, and drained the areas that were once wetlands. When is quality of life going to replace the almighty dollar as a measure of success? Sometimes I think the cave dwellers had a higher quality of life than we do in the 21st. century. (Don't ask me to explain that--Jean Auel already has). Alas, technology has made our lives easier, but it won't save us. We still haven't tamed the beast that is the human heart. Yes, I say beast because most people don't kill out of hatred--they kill out of passion. Wars are fueled by passion--just witness the terrorists who kill themselves and others for the sake of some hope-to-be-attained goal. When will we learn that gentleness of heart is more valuable than all the gold in Fort Knox? I think the Buddha was on to something. I know I'm meandering and probably ranting as well, but I really wish the human race would come to its senses before it's too late. God bless, and have a thoughtful day.

This is my painting "The Three Faces Of Evening" (acrylic on canvas). Hope you like it!

Do you know what these are?

Look closely. If you were ever in the Marching 100, you may remember what these are. Still confused? Spats! To be precise, spats dating back to the Civil War era. They're wool and have little buttons down the sides and straps that buckle underneath. Will look cute with all my boots.

Dog Patch

Here is a little something I embroidered for fun. Woof! Woof!

Autumn is almost here.....

Yes, it's almost that time of the year again--the time of changing seasons, bright colors, cool, crisp mornings and long walks through the woods. Soon I'll be wearing flannel shirts and my jeans jacket, perhaps even my wool jacket. The frost will make all the world look like it's been preserved in crystal, melting away into a warm autumn afternoon. I love the fall, it's my very favorite season. the crickets come into my basement (and occasionally the rest of my house), singing their merry little chirps. Various birds are passing through the area as they migrate to southern climes. I wish this season would last forever--well, maybe not forever, but for as long as possible. It's such a beautiful time of year. Have a bountiful autumn.

Here she is---a little farmgirl and her ducklings. I found this wooden puzzle at an antique mall and couldn't resist. It's so cute that I may start looking for more. I'm not sure how to display her--maybe in a shadowbox?
Have a great week!

Owl in Road---a poem

The traumatized owl
sits in the road,
stares at the three people
trying to save him

with the mildly autistic expression
of a pre-schooler
who's seen too many episodes of Barney,
comprehends the absurdity of a talking dinosaur,
yet still believes,

having never known the degradation
behind the happy family,
lives in the realm of primal imagination,
is still in touch
with the Pleistocene within his soul.

Master Naturalist

Yippee! I've been accepted into the Illinois Master Naturalist program. Orientation is tomorrow. This is something I'm really looking forward to and I hope will enjoy. I want to learn all about this region and share it with others. People today are so distanced from the natural world. I believe this is the source of a lot of the world's problems. You don't want to blow up the things you love, so if everyone loved Mother Earth.....as Chrissie Hynde put it "Bring on the revolution--as we watch the children play/remember how the privileged classes grew/and from this day/we set out to undo/ what won't undo/looking for the grand in the minute/every breath justifies/every step that we take to remove/what the powers that be can't prove/and the children will understand why..."

If you don't mind....

I've been reading lately about mindfulness, the quality or state of being aware of you and your surroundings at all times. Mindfulness is important because we spend so much time living in the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness takes us out of our distracted mind and puts us where it really matters--the here and now, this present moment. It sounds easy but is really quite difficult. It's hard to sit still with one's thoughts, especially when your mind is going a mile a minute. But when you do, it's amazing some of the insights that you gain. Not all of them are pleasant but at least being mindful takes hot issues off the back burner and puts them up front where you may better deal with them. Why a picture of Boxer to accompany this post? Because dogs are masters of living in the moment-the past?Huh? The future? What? Hey, there goes the neighbor dog walking down the street--I'll have to bark to get his attention! Rowf, rowf, hey, it's starting to rain. Rain is wet. Hmm, it's not fun to get rained on but---gee, there she comes up the driveway! Time for supper! Oh, what a wonderful thing, supper! I like to eat! Here she comes in the door--I'll have to bark to get her attention! Rowf, rowf!
Have a great day.

Hummers

No, I'm not talking about motor vehicles--today I was standing by my butterfly bush and a hummingbird decided to drop by and visit. he/she just hovered about eight inches from my head and sipped nectar from the flowers. This little bird was so tiny yet so unafraid of me. There's something so enlightening (no pun intended) about seeing a hummingbird close up. Makes you wonder how they have so much energy to move their wings so fast. If I was a bird, that's the kind of bird I'd like to be.
Also, today Puma the kitten went to her new home. I'll miss her but Boxer won't. He keeps checking to make sure she's really gone, since he can still smell that cat scent. I hope Puma enjoys her new home and her new family. So now things can get back to "normal" (as far as Boxer is concerned) and I can give my allergies a rest.
Have a blessed day.

Kitten Kaboodle

Why, oh why, do people dump poor defenseless animals? I found a kitten, skinny and sickly (she's now recovering nicely) but oh, it makes me see RED when people toss out a baby creature as though it's trash. She's really a sweet kitty and so far even Boxer hasn't been aggressive towards her (and he normally hates cats). She's now calling the spare bedroom home (I still can't trust Boxer to be around her without supervision). I'm trying to find a home for her but even the cat lovers I know say they already have too many cats. She's quiet and likes to cuddle in your lap. i just can't imagine why somebody dumped her. So say a prayer to St. Francis that I find a good home for her--I don't know how much longer Boxer will tolerate a cat in his home. But maybe he'll surprise me--an old dog CAN learn new tricks.

What is a mystic

I've been hearing a lot these days, at least in Catholic circles, about Christian mystics. these are simply people who are in touch with the mysteries of life in a way that few are. Julian of Norwich was a mystic, as was Hildegaard of Bingen. Not surprisingly, both lived in the middle ages. Both were Catholic and held in high regard. Mysticism seems to be making a comeback in the Catholic church, perhaps in response to some mostly fundamentalist churches which claim to have an answer for everything. Frankly, God is too big and too vast for us to ever fully comprehend. that's why I go with the way of the mystics. Life should be a mystery, or where's the joy in living? If you have an answer for everything, what a dull life you must live. to live with mystery is to live with joy, to be open to holiness. Who can explain the mystery of how gravity hold everything in the universe together? Who can explain how birds navigate their way from the Arctic to the South Pole? A life without mystery would be dull and uneventful. So embrace mystery-it's the path to holiness.

Who are you?

What is the basis of human nature? Are we little more than highly intelligent primates, at the mercy of our genes and environment? Are we sinners in need of saving by a God given to such whims as destroying the Earth by a flood? Or are we really capable of transcending both these views and becoming the people that we are meant to be? Maybe we don't have the power to do it on our own, but with the help of those around us, and something called grace, I believe it's not only possible, but necessary if we are to survive as a species.
I recall the story about a tribe in Africa (can't remember the name) and how, when someone does something "bad", instead of punishing that person, each member of the tribe tells one good thing (and it has to be true) about the "bad" person to that person until he/she remembers who he/she is. So maybe that is the basis of all our problems--we've forgotten who we are.
War is not natural to human beings. People have to be taught to be soldiers, to kill, to blindly follow orders. Likewise, people have to be taught kindness, compassion, to put others' needs ahead of their own. It's like the story of the two wolves--a young Native American boy says to his uncle: "Sometimes I feel like there are two wolves inside me and they are fighting. One is good and one is bad. How do I know which one will win?" To which his wise uncle replied: "It depends on which one you feed".
Which wolf are you feeding?

Remembering a friend

Yes, I know it's been a while since I've posted. the reason being that I've been mourning the loss of a friend and counselor whose life was taken by some gunmen who didn't know him and may have been corrupted by officials in Guatemala to silence him. the friend to which I refer is Father Larry Rosebaugh, OMI, aka "Lorenzo". I've attend two memorials (one informal, the other a mass) for him and still can't make sense of it. Here was a man who spent his whole life as a priest being an advocate for the poor, even living with them, sleeping with them, eating with them, in the streets of Brazil; who was imprisoned in the US for his non-violent protests against the Vietnam War and the terrorist-training School of the Americas; who lived humbly, simply, never owned a car; who radiated Christ's joy and compassion to all who knew him. He was planning on "retiring" at the end of this year and returning to the US. Whatever the motive behind the gunmen's actions, we'll probably never know for sure. Only that he is now with Jesus in the "eternal Sturgis of tomorrow" (his own words) passing "the angels on their Harleys" . yes, he had quite a sense of humor and zest for life. His joy is now complete, but we'll have to wait a while longer to experience that joy. Heaven is richer, and the world a bit poorer, but all who knew him will keep alive that determination and will to live according to one's convictions. He was closer to being a saint that anyone I've ever met. No, he was a saint--and I'm grateful for having known him. i only hope that I can somehow live up to the standards he set--there's so much more to this life than we can possibly ever grasp.

A Real Hoot

Yesterday, I was driving down a rural road and came across two people and a motorcycle by the side of the road. They were diverting traffic around a barred owl that sat, dazed, in the road. So I pulled over and looked in my trunk--ah ha! I had a large cardboard box and some old blankets. I tossed a blanket over Mr. Owl and put him in the box. Then I put the box in the trunk of my car (I didn't want to risk him getting loose in my car--obviously). He was bleeding a little but not very much. He remained in shock until I was able to get him to a place where they could treat his injuries. I called today to inquire about him (?--her?) and they said he was alert and acting normal. So now I'm officially a bird-rescuer. I think owls are fascinating creatures and it was really neat to see one so close. So the next time you see an animal (or human) in distress by the side of the road, give a hoot and try to help out--it doesn't matter WHO you are.

The Walk That Wasn't (Fortunately)

As you may know, I'm in the habit of going for a walk around the perimeters of the hospital whenever the weather permits. I usually go around noon. Today, as I was working by myself and was fairly busy, I decided to not go for my walk. Just didn't feel up to it. Anyway, and you'll be reading about it in the paper, there was a shoot-out in front of the hospital just before noon. No passer-bye's were hurt, and I know it was a freak occurrence, but don't you feel it was a little fortuitous that I didn't go for my walk today? I do. Is it no coincidence that today was the National Day of Prayer? I had prayer on my mind all throughout the day, and I guess God had me on His mind too. So although this one isolated incident won't keep me from walking (but from now on, I'm always walking with a buddy), I do believe the Spirit was with me today when I decided to forgo my walk. I'm glad that other people were praying for me and that the Spirit held me close. Just goes to show that God looks after those who seek Him. Thank you, Lord.

Good-bye, Mr. Maple

I'm saying good-bye to Mr. Maple. I have no idea how old he is. Just that he stands in my front yard all day and all night, in a very bad spot. His roots play havoc with my sewer line and he sucks all the moisture out of the ground so nothing else can grow. So, sadly, the time had come to say good-bye. One of my neighbors has offered to cremate his remains. I administered Last Rites to him this evening. I'll miss him, but his time has come. At least he's leaving his body to a good cause. Don't know yet exactly when he's leaving this world, depends on the weather. So good-bye, Mr. Maple--as the squirrels would say, it was nice gnawing ya.

The latest buzz...

Everything is growing like bonkers around here. My lettuce and spinach sprouts are lookin' good and my prairie plants are growing like weeds. They say it all began in a garden and I'm not going to dispute it. My homestead isn't exactly the Garden of Eden, but it's a darn nice place to be. A bumblebee got into my house tonight and I coaxed it onto a broom and took it outside. I used to be afraid of buzzing things when I was young but now I see them as the bringers of life that they really are. Einstein was right about the honeybee--if they disappeared, mankind would have but four years. So please use only organic products on all your flowers and vegetables and help save the bees. And by the way, if you have allergies, eating bee pollen, a small amount at a time, can help to desensitize you to the allergens.